Where To Start

I know that blogging is pretty much the same as writing in a journal or diary the only difference in that everyone can read your thoughts. So where do I start?

Lately I've been feeling really down and stressed. I know I shouldn't feel this way because there are so many other people out there with that have it worse than I do but I just can't help it. Please don't get me wrong because I am very thankful for what and who I have in my life. I just think I am feeling down on myself and the last thing that I really want is for anyone to feel sorry for me.

My family and friends probably think that when they see me yes I am smiling, laughing, that I look pretty happy and which I am because I have them around. Then when I am alone the feelings inside me are different. I have my husband around 24/7 and he is always trying his best to make me happy but instead I start to lash out at him for the most stupid reasons, when I know I shouldn't.

As you are reading you are probably thinking "Okay she knows what she should and shouldn't be doing. What is her problem?" and I've asked myself that a lot these past few weeks the same freakin question. I've tried being around my family and friends more often but that takes my time away from Jason (my husband). Jason is with me during these times I know that he doesn't mind at all but I am sure he wants time for himself. Then when I do spend time with him alone, it is great but then too much time starts to annoy me. I know I am wrong but what can I do.

Some of my friends and co-workers say that I might be going through some kind of depression. They could be right but I hope not. The last thing I want to do is take depression or anxiety pills. I am scare of those things. I think I just really need some good advice or a self-esteem coach. If you have any or if you are a great coach let me know. Till next time.